94 Screw Puns That Are Guaranteed to Twist Your Humor!

Stuck on a screw pun?

We’ve all been there—knowing the joke is right there but can’t quite twist it into something clever.

Don’t worry! This collection of screw puns is here to save the day and make you the pun-master you were meant to be.

Whether it’s for Insta, group chats, or just showing off your quick wit, these puns will hit the mark. Ready to stop forcing it and let the humor flow?

Dive in and screw your friends over—with laughter, of course!

Screw Puns

• Screw it, let’s do it!
• Measure twice, screw once!
• Keep calm and screw on.
• You’re grape, let’s screw.
• Screw you later, alligator!
• You’re driving me screw-zy!
• Don’t get too screwy with me.
• Screwing around and loving it!
• Screw the rules, make your own!
• In a world of nails, be a screw.
• Screws before glues, that’s the rule.
• He’s really screwing with my head.
• Screw your doubts, let’s go for it!
• Life is a screw, just keep turning.
• I find screws to be quite riveting.
• Screw the haters, build your own path!
• Screw it, let’s dance the night away!
• Don’t let life screw with your plans!
• Screw the haters, we’re shining bright!
• I’m screwing myself by procrastinating.
• Screw the stress, I’m here for success!
• Screw your doubts, nail your dreams!
• Screwed tight, feeling right!

• When life gets chaotic, screw the drama!
• A tight screw keeps everything together!
• Screw the details—we’re here for laughs!
• I can’t find my tools—guess I’m screwed.
• I’m screwed on tight today—feeling sharp!
• Don’t let bad jokes screw with your mood.
• Don’t let them screw with your confidence!
• The screw theory in physics is fascinating.

• Screw up, screw down, keep going!

• Screwing up isn’t the same as screwing down.
• Everything’s better with a few extra screws.
• He’s screwing the competition left and right.
• Join me, and we’ll have a screw-tacular time.
• I can’t handle all this screw-tiny in my life.
• Every great project starts with a single screw.
• You had me at Merlot… but let’s screw the cork!
• I’ve got screws and rizz—let’s tighten things up!
• Don’t get too wound up over a screw loose or two.
• In a world full of bolts, be the screw that fits.
• I’m screwed, but at least I’m still turning!
• Screwed in, not screwed up!

• I’m nuts and bolts about you, let’s screw together.
• She’s got a couple of screws loose—she’s hilarious!
• I’m hooked on screws, they’re my ultimate fastener.
• If life gives you lemons, screw it and make lemonade!
• That mechanic is totally nuts and bolts about screws!
• I’m all screwed up, I need to get my head on straight.
• Life’s too short to worry about every little screw up.
• You’re the missing screw in my perfectly built machine.
• I keep everything together—I’m a real screw-leader.
• Screws are the best listeners—they always stay engaged.
• I’m a pro at fixing things, I really nail those screws.
• I’m really good with screws. Some say I’m well-rounded.
• In a world full of problems, be the screw that fixes it!
• Screw it, let’s do it!

• When screws go on vacation, they love to twist and shout!
• My love life is like a loose screw, always falling apart.
• This conversation is really hitting the screw on the head!
• Let’s nail down these plans before we get screwed by time.
• Looks like we’re in a tight spot, better tighten the screw.
• Screws make great comedians—they know how to turn a phrase.
• When the screw lost its head, it became a real loose cannon.
• I’m not one to twist your arm, but let’s screw around a bit.
• I’m so good at using screws, I’ve really got a handle on it.
• Time to screw out the negativity and screw in the positivity!
• Screws are excellent at puzzles—they always fit in perfectly.
• The screw thought it was a great idea to join the nutty party.
• If a screw and a hammer went on a date, they’d really nail it.
• I tried to fix my relationship, but it felt like a loose screw.
• Screw it up? Tighten it down!

• The handyman loved his job because he got to nail it every time.
• I like my relationships like I like my screws, tight and secure.
• When screws throw parties, they always have nuts and bolts of fun.
• If you’re feeling down, remember—screws always rise up in a pinch!
• Let’s make sure we’re both on the same thread before we screw around.
• You can’t rush a screw, it always needs a bit of torque to get going.
• My love life is like a screw—twisted but it holds everything together.
• Screws really hold everything together, just like coffee and deadlines.
• I have an important job in construction, but I really just screw around.
• I joined a support group for screwdrivers. Now I’ve really found my crew.

• Life’s much easier when you have the right screw for the right situation.

• Life’s like a box of screws—sometimes you don’t know what fits until you try.
• Screws and bolts make great friends—because they always turn to each other.
• That politician is so corrupt, I wouldn’t trust him to screw in a light bulb.
• I thought I had it all together, but I guess I was just screwing with myself.
• The mechanic had a lot on his plate, but he still managed to nail every screw job.
• Life is like a screw—it can twist and turn, but in the end, it holds things together.
• The screw and the screwdriver had a fight, but they decided to thread things out.
• I’m not one to screw around when it comes to DIY projects – I always get the job done.
• The screwdriver had a magnetic personality, it really attracted a lot of nuts and bolts.
• I tried to fix my broken heart, but it seems like I just made it worse… I really screwed up.

Congrats, you’ve leveled up your pun game!

These screw puns aren’t just for laughs—they’re about unlocking creativity and seeing humor where others might not. With the right mindset, even the simplest things can inspire brilliance.

Next time you’re stuck, remember: humor is everywhere, just waiting to be found.

Now, go out there and make people screw up with laughter!