68 Hilarious Puns for Non-Stop Laughter!

Puns are the universal language of humor—part groan, part genius, and 100% unforgettable.

But let’s be real, coming up with a good one is tough. That’s why this article is here to save the day and deliver the pun magic you need.

From Instagram captions to one-liners, these clever gems will have you laughing and rolling your eyes.

Ready to dive in? Pun absolutely intended.

Contents show

Hilarious Puns

Hil-laugh-rious!
Hillarious heights!
I’m terrible at cliffhangers….
A backwards poet writes inverse.
This joke is hilarious-lutely amazing!
A steak pun is a rare medium well done.
My fear of moving stairs is escalating.
The rotation of Earth really makes my day.
Haunted French pancakes give me the crêpes.
Don’t worry about old age; it doesn’t last.
A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.
I used to be a banker, but I lost interest.
Broken puppets for sale. No strings attached.
When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.
I used to be a tap dancer until I got cold feet.
I’m no good at math, but I hear it’s easy as pi.
I don’t play soccer because I enjoy it—I just do it for kicks.
Can’t spell ‘hilarious’ without the ‘hi!’ and the ‘laughs!’

I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.
I used to be addicted to soap, but I’m clean now.
To the guy who invented Zero: Thanks for nothing!
Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
I changed my iPod’s name to Titanic. It’s syncing now.
I dropped out of communism class because of lousy Marx.
I’d ask my teddy bear if he’s hungry, but he’s stuffed.
I used to be a baker, but I couldn’t make enough dough.
My life’s a circus, and I’m the hilarious clown on duty.
I gave all my dead batteries away today. Free of charge.
I’m friends with all electricians—they’re always grounded.
I’m friends with a baker because he makes me feel crumby.
Being this funny isn’t easy—it’s hilarious-ly exhausting!
I used to think I was indecisive, but now I’m not so sure.
I went to buy some camouflage pants but couldn’t find any.
I’m writing a book on hurricanes and it’s blowing me away.
I used to work in a shoe factory, but I just didn’t fit in.
I don’t trust stairs because they’re always up to something.
The mathematician’s plant died. It had too many square roots.
I told my math teacher I was average, but she said I was mean.
I wanted to be a dentist, but I just couldn’t handle the tooth.
When dinosaurs tell jokes, they’re absolutely hilar-ious-aurus!
England doesn’t have a kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool.
I’m friends with a clockmaker because we always have a good time.
A baker stopped making donuts. He got tired of the hole business.
Never lie to an x-ray technician. They can see right through you.
The earthquake in Washington obviously was the government’s fault.
I tried to make a belt out of watches, but it was a waist of time.
Have you heard about the restaurant on the moon? Great food, but no atmosphere.
I’m hi-LAIR-ious! Rolling in laughter and flair!

When the power went out at the mall, it was a dark day for shoppers.
Sleeping comes so naturally to me, I could do it with my eyes closed.
I told a joke about a broken pencil, but it just didn’t have a point.
The comedian’s car broke down, so he had to call a stand-up mechanic.
A cartoonist was found dead at his drawing table. Details are sketchy.
The tailor kept singing while working because he had a stitch in time.
I got hit in the head with a can of soda. Luckily, it was a soft drink.
The golfer brought an extra pair of pants in case he got a hole in one.
I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes, but she hugged me instead.
I couldn’t figure out why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.
I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.
I told my carpenter friend a pun about a roof. He said it was over his head.
I’m reading a book on the history of glue. I just can’t seem to put it down!
I tried to tell a joke about butter, but it wasn’t margarine-ally hilarious.
Yesterday I swallowed some food coloring. I feel like I’ve dyed a little inside.
I saw an ad for burial plots, and thought to myself this is the last thing I need.
A girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I’d never met herbivore.
The optometrist fell into his lens grinding machine and made a spectacle of himself.
I once had a job at a calendar factory but got fired for taking a couple of days off.
I couldn’t quite remember how to throw a boomerang, but eventually it came back to me.